ROY GARDE
AUTHOR AND SCULPTOR

WITH MY WIFE, THE IRREPRESSIBLE TERE
Here are 3 of my latest works. They are in a new (for me) medium - enclosed glass.
THE ROBOT IS HOLDING UP A SIGN THAT SAYS - "HELP. I AM A I (ENHANCED). I DIDN'T HURT ANYBODY. I ONLY WANTED TO SEE WHAT THEIR GENITALS LOOK LIKE. PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE SO THAT I CAN GO BACK TO WORK."
THE CAPTAIN IS ON THE QUARTERDECK LOOKING DOWN AT HIS CREW WHICH HAS BEEN MUSTERED ON THE MAIN DECK.
HE SAYS - "MEN, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE ARE UGLY RUMORS CIRCULATING THROUGH THE SHIP AND I WANT THEM TO STOP RIGHT NOW. THIS CALM CAN'T LAST FOREVER AND SOON WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY HOME WITH FAIR WINDS AND FOLLOWING SEAS."
HE SAYS - "MEN, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE ARE UGLY RUMORS CIRCULATING THROUGH THE SHIP AND I WANT THEM TO STOP RIGHT NOW. THIS CALM CAN'T LAST FOREVER AND SOON WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY HOME WITH FAIR WINDS AND FOLLOWING SEAS."

"WELL GROUNDED" This caption is an electrician's inside joke in that the 'bulb' is a high pressure sodium lamp of the type that's put on tall poles to illuminate large areas.
This next one was done by me several months ago. It too is 'glass enclosed', you could say, but it wasn't the trigger for the three previous ones. At least, I don't think so.
Clearly it is mainly decorative but its title is -
"An alcoholics nightmare."

This next one has two titles and a long caption-
"AN INCEL'S RECURRING DREAMSCAPE."
or - "A MAN'S REACH SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EXCEED HIS GRASP."
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME OUR NEXT PERFORMER - MR. I. M. ANINCEL - WHO IS GOING TO PLAY, ON HIS BLUE VEINED PICOLO, A NOCTURNE BY MASTER (MAESTRO) BATES TITLED -
". . . .49 . . . 50, CHANGE HANDS, 1...2...' "
ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE THAT PERTAINS TO THE ABOVE WORK - THE MULTI-TALENTED CHELSEA HANDLER STARTED ONE OF THE MONOLOGUES OF HER LATE NIGHT CABLE SHOW WITH THESE THREE WORDS - 'MEN NEED PENETRATION.'
NO INTRODUCTION AND NO PREAMBLE, JUST THOSE THREE WORDS, WHICH, PRESENTED BOLDY LIKE THAT, CARRY ENORMOUS IMPORT.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE, LOUIS C.K., IN ONE OF HIS MUCH MISSED STAND-UP ROUTINES, POINTED OUT TO THE WOMEN IN THE AUDIENCE SOMETHING LIKE - "YOU DO KNOW DON'T YOU THAT YOU, AND EVERY OTHER WOMAN ON THE ENTIRE PLANET, CAN GET LAID ANYTIME THAT YOU WANT SIMPLY BY ASKING THE NEAREST MAN?! HOW GREAT IS THAT?"
WELL NOW, THOSE TWO STATEMENTS STAYED WITH ME FOR MONTHS AND THEN A GUY, 20-ODD YEARS OLD, WENT BERSERK AWHILE AGO AND SHOT AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE AT RANDOM AND HIS EXCUSE WAS, MORE OR LESS, - "I'M AN INCEL AND MY FRUSTRATION MADE ME DO IT."
I LOOKED UP THE TITLE THAT HE'D GIVEN HIMSELF AND FOUND, AS YOU NO DOUBT ALREADY KNEW, THAT IT IS AN ABBREVIATION OF - "INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE."
WHEN I GOT OVER THE SHOCK I STORED THE INFORMATION AWAY BUT I FOUND THAT NOT ONLY WAS IT NOT FADING OVER TIME IT WAS GAINING IN STRENGTH AND IT WAS ALSO TEAMING-UP WITH THE TWO OTHER THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE AND THE WHOLE MIXTURE BEGAN TO FERMENT!
BECAUSE OF THAT IT EVENTUALLY CAME TO ME THAT A 'SISTERHOOD' SHOULD BE ESTABLISHED BASED ON THE FACT THAT THE TRUTH THAT IS REVEALED IN THE AMALGAMATION OF THOSE THREE FACTS
COULD BE USED, SHOULD BE USED, TO ALLEVIATE A GREAT DEAL OF THE TENSION AND UNHAPPINESS THAT IS PRESENT IN THE WORLD.
THE DEVASTATING AND DISTURBING TITLE 'INCEL' POINTS OUT THAT THERE IS A DESPERATE NEED OUT THERE - WHO KNOWS HOW WIDESPREAD IT IS? - AND TO COMBAT IT WOMEN SHOULD START THE AFORE-MENTIONED "SISTERHOOD" IN WHICH EVERY MEMBER PLEDGES TO INVITE AN INCEL INTO HER BED AT LEAST ONCE EVERY MONTH STARTING RIGHT AWAY.
WELL NOW, I'D LIKE TO - RATHER PRESUMPTUOUSLY PERHAPS - PROPOSE THAT MY SCULPTURE (ABOVE) BE ADOPTED AS THE MEME (LOGO) FOR THE SISTERHOOD.
ALSO, I'M GOING TO TAKE IT UPON MYSELF TO PROPOSE THE RULES AND THE LAWS ALONG WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS THAT "SISTERS" WILL HAVE TO AGREE TO IF THEY WANT TO JOIN THE 'SISTERHOOD OF COMPASSION FOR INCEL's' -
1 - LAWS/BYE-LAWS - NONE
2 - RULES - NONE
3 - SUBSCRIPTIONS - NONE
4 - PUBLICATIONS - NONE
5 - OFFICERS - NONE (ALTHOUGH THERE MAY BE A NEED FOR A FEW VOLUNTEERS TO CO-ORDINATE STUFF IF THE SISTERHOOD TAKES OFF.
AND THAT'S IT AS FAR AS ITS BUREAUCRACY IS CONCERNED.
CREDOS -
1 - THINK GLOBALLY AND ACT LOCALLY.
2 - SEE HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN OUST ME - A MAN (HORRORS!)
NEXT - PRACTICALITIES-
EACH SISTER MUST FEEL SURE OF HERSELF ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH QUESTIONS LIKE -
- HER PLACE OR HIS.
WHETHER IT IS TO BE A QUICKY OR AN ALL-NIGHTER.
MUST REMEMBER TO KEEP CONDOMS IN HER BEDSIDE TABLE AND IN HER HANDBAG.
DECIDE AS TO WHETHER EVERYTHING HAS TO GET STARTED IN THE SHOWER OR NOT.
WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP SUITABLE 'CLIENTS'.
IF THE LUCKY GUY HAS TO BE A DIFFERENT ONE EVERY TIME THEN SHE'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO MAKE SURE THAT HE KNOWS AND ACCEPTS THAT FACT BEFOREHAND.
BE CLEAR IN HER OWN MIND AND MAKE IT CLEAR TO EACH NEW PARTNER AS TO HOW MUCH FORE-PLAY AND WHAT KIND OF FORE-PLAY WILL BE ALLOWED.
ALSO, WILL THE GUY HAVE TO BE CONTENT WITH - 'SLAM, BANG, THANK YOU MA'RM?'
DOES SHE UNDERSTAND THAT SOME - MOST? - INCELS WILL NOT BE, SHALL WE SAY - VERY ATTRACTIVE?
EVEN SO - AS ONE OF OUR PRESIDENTS ONCE PUT IT, LONG AGO,
- ENDEAVOR TO PERSEVERE.
TO CONTACT ME CLICK ON "CONTACT" AT THE TOP OF MY WEBSITE ALTHOUGH PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT I'VE BEEN A COAL-MINER AND I WAS IN THE NAVY FOR 7 YEARS AND I'VE BEEN A TRUCK DRIVER AND I'VE WORKED ON MANY CONSTRUCTION SITES SO I CAN PROBABLY OUT-CUSS YOU UP AND DOWN AND BACK AND FORE AND DOUBLE TIME ON SUNDAYS.
". . . .49 . . . 50, CHANGE HANDS, 1...2...' "
ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE THAT PERTAINS TO THE ABOVE WORK - THE MULTI-TALENTED CHELSEA HANDLER STARTED ONE OF THE MONOLOGUES OF HER LATE NIGHT CABLE SHOW WITH THESE THREE WORDS - 'MEN NEED PENETRATION.'
NO INTRODUCTION AND NO PREAMBLE, JUST THOSE THREE WORDS, WHICH, PRESENTED BOLDY LIKE THAT, CARRY ENORMOUS IMPORT.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE, LOUIS C.K., IN ONE OF HIS MUCH MISSED STAND-UP ROUTINES, POINTED OUT TO THE WOMEN IN THE AUDIENCE SOMETHING LIKE - "YOU DO KNOW DON'T YOU THAT YOU, AND EVERY OTHER WOMAN ON THE ENTIRE PLANET, CAN GET LAID ANYTIME THAT YOU WANT SIMPLY BY ASKING THE NEAREST MAN?! HOW GREAT IS THAT?"
WELL NOW, THOSE TWO STATEMENTS STAYED WITH ME FOR MONTHS AND THEN A GUY, 20-ODD YEARS OLD, WENT BERSERK AWHILE AGO AND SHOT AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE AT RANDOM AND HIS EXCUSE WAS, MORE OR LESS, - "I'M AN INCEL AND MY FRUSTRATION MADE ME DO IT."
I LOOKED UP THE TITLE THAT HE'D GIVEN HIMSELF AND FOUND, AS YOU NO DOUBT ALREADY KNEW, THAT IT IS AN ABBREVIATION OF - "INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE."
WHEN I GOT OVER THE SHOCK I STORED THE INFORMATION AWAY BUT I FOUND THAT NOT ONLY WAS IT NOT FADING OVER TIME IT WAS GAINING IN STRENGTH AND IT WAS ALSO TEAMING-UP WITH THE TWO OTHER THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE AND THE WHOLE MIXTURE BEGAN TO FERMENT!
BECAUSE OF THAT IT EVENTUALLY CAME TO ME THAT A 'SISTERHOOD' SHOULD BE ESTABLISHED BASED ON THE FACT THAT THE TRUTH THAT IS REVEALED IN THE AMALGAMATION OF THOSE THREE FACTS
COULD BE USED, SHOULD BE USED, TO ALLEVIATE A GREAT DEAL OF THE TENSION AND UNHAPPINESS THAT IS PRESENT IN THE WORLD.
THE DEVASTATING AND DISTURBING TITLE 'INCEL' POINTS OUT THAT THERE IS A DESPERATE NEED OUT THERE - WHO KNOWS HOW WIDESPREAD IT IS? - AND TO COMBAT IT WOMEN SHOULD START THE AFORE-MENTIONED "SISTERHOOD" IN WHICH EVERY MEMBER PLEDGES TO INVITE AN INCEL INTO HER BED AT LEAST ONCE EVERY MONTH STARTING RIGHT AWAY.
WELL NOW, I'D LIKE TO - RATHER PRESUMPTUOUSLY PERHAPS - PROPOSE THAT MY SCULPTURE (ABOVE) BE ADOPTED AS THE MEME (LOGO) FOR THE SISTERHOOD.
ALSO, I'M GOING TO TAKE IT UPON MYSELF TO PROPOSE THE RULES AND THE LAWS ALONG WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS THAT "SISTERS" WILL HAVE TO AGREE TO IF THEY WANT TO JOIN THE 'SISTERHOOD OF COMPASSION FOR INCEL's' -
1 - LAWS/BYE-LAWS - NONE
2 - RULES - NONE
3 - SUBSCRIPTIONS - NONE
4 - PUBLICATIONS - NONE
5 - OFFICERS - NONE (ALTHOUGH THERE MAY BE A NEED FOR A FEW VOLUNTEERS TO CO-ORDINATE STUFF IF THE SISTERHOOD TAKES OFF.
AND THAT'S IT AS FAR AS ITS BUREAUCRACY IS CONCERNED.
CREDOS -
1 - THINK GLOBALLY AND ACT LOCALLY.
2 - SEE HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN OUST ME - A MAN (HORRORS!)
NEXT - PRACTICALITIES-
EACH SISTER MUST FEEL SURE OF HERSELF ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH QUESTIONS LIKE -
- HER PLACE OR HIS.
WHETHER IT IS TO BE A QUICKY OR AN ALL-NIGHTER.
MUST REMEMBER TO KEEP CONDOMS IN HER BEDSIDE TABLE AND IN HER HANDBAG.
DECIDE AS TO WHETHER EVERYTHING HAS TO GET STARTED IN THE SHOWER OR NOT.
WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP SUITABLE 'CLIENTS'.
IF THE LUCKY GUY HAS TO BE A DIFFERENT ONE EVERY TIME THEN SHE'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO MAKE SURE THAT HE KNOWS AND ACCEPTS THAT FACT BEFOREHAND.
BE CLEAR IN HER OWN MIND AND MAKE IT CLEAR TO EACH NEW PARTNER AS TO HOW MUCH FORE-PLAY AND WHAT KIND OF FORE-PLAY WILL BE ALLOWED.
ALSO, WILL THE GUY HAVE TO BE CONTENT WITH - 'SLAM, BANG, THANK YOU MA'RM?'
DOES SHE UNDERSTAND THAT SOME - MOST? - INCELS WILL NOT BE, SHALL WE SAY - VERY ATTRACTIVE?
EVEN SO - AS ONE OF OUR PRESIDENTS ONCE PUT IT, LONG AGO,
- ENDEAVOR TO PERSEVERE.
TO CONTACT ME CLICK ON "CONTACT" AT THE TOP OF MY WEBSITE ALTHOUGH PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT I'VE BEEN A COAL-MINER AND I WAS IN THE NAVY FOR 7 YEARS AND I'VE BEEN A TRUCK DRIVER AND I'VE WORKED ON MANY CONSTRUCTION SITES SO I CAN PROBABLY OUT-CUSS YOU UP AND DOWN AND BACK AND FORE AND DOUBLE TIME ON SUNDAYS.
WHEN THIS NEW IDEA CAME TO ME, RECENTLY, I DID A LOT OF CHECKING OF VARIOUS "BYE-LAWS" AND "ESTABLISHMENT RULES" AND "OUR COMPANY'S GUIDELINES" AND "APPROVED COMPANY REGULATIONS," ETC, AND THEY COVERED JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING REGARDING 'WOMEN'S WORKING ATTIRE' WHICH WAS WHAT WAS OF INTEREST TO ME AT THAT TIME.
THEY ALL INCLUDED GUIDELINES AND LIMITATIONS REGARDING FEMALES' UPPER BODY CLOTHING AND THEY ALL REFERRED TO 'BREASTS' AND 'NIPPLES' AND 'AUREOLES' AND EVEN 'MAMMARY GLANDS' BUT NEVER TO 'BREAST' NOR TO 'NIPPLE' NOR TO 'AUREOLE' AND, NOT SURPRISINGLY PERHAPS, NEVER TO 'MAMMARY GLAND.'
SO, FOLLOWING UP ON THAT LOOPHOLE, I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THE INAUGURATION OF A NEW TREND IN FASHION THAT WILL SURELY BE APPROVED BY ALL WOMEN BECAUSE IT IS LEGAL, AND ALLOWS THEM TO 'SHOWCASE' ONE OF THEIR MAIN ASSETS, AND IT WILL BE FULLY APPROVED BY ALL MEN BECAUSE - LET'S FACE IT - WE'RE ALL INTRIGUED WITH THEM AND THIS WILL, PERHAPS, IN TIME LET US GET OUR FILL AND, MAYBE, HELP US GET OVER THAT SAME, QUITE POSSIBLY UNHEALTHY, OBSESSION.
THEY ALL INCLUDED GUIDELINES AND LIMITATIONS REGARDING FEMALES' UPPER BODY CLOTHING AND THEY ALL REFERRED TO 'BREASTS' AND 'NIPPLES' AND 'AUREOLES' AND EVEN 'MAMMARY GLANDS' BUT NEVER TO 'BREAST' NOR TO 'NIPPLE' NOR TO 'AUREOLE' AND, NOT SURPRISINGLY PERHAPS, NEVER TO 'MAMMARY GLAND.'
SO, FOLLOWING UP ON THAT LOOPHOLE, I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THE INAUGURATION OF A NEW TREND IN FASHION THAT WILL SURELY BE APPROVED BY ALL WOMEN BECAUSE IT IS LEGAL, AND ALLOWS THEM TO 'SHOWCASE' ONE OF THEIR MAIN ASSETS, AND IT WILL BE FULLY APPROVED BY ALL MEN BECAUSE - LET'S FACE IT - WE'RE ALL INTRIGUED WITH THEM AND THIS WILL, PERHAPS, IN TIME LET US GET OUR FILL AND, MAYBE, HELP US GET OVER THAT SAME, QUITE POSSIBLY UNHEALTHY, OBSESSION.
HEREWITH - SOME IMAGES THAT WILL HELP MAKE MY CASE -
NEITHER OF THESE TWO WOMEN COULD SO MUCH AS THINK OF VENTURING FORTH IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS IT AGAINST THE LAW BUT IT'S ALSO A BIT OVERWHELMING. THE POLICE WOULD GET A WHOLE LOT OF 911 CALLS AND ALL OF THEM WOULD BE MADE BY WOMEN.
HOWEVER-
HOWEVER-
BOTH WOMEN COULD GO OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT IS
LEGAL AND IT IS MODEST AND IT IS BALANCED AND IT ALSO SHOWS A COMMENDABLE SENSE OF WANTING TO SHARE INEFFABLE BEAUTY WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS AND WITH PASSERSBYS IN GENERAL.
LEGAL AND IT IS MODEST AND IT IS BALANCED AND IT ALSO SHOWS A COMMENDABLE SENSE OF WANTING TO SHARE INEFFABLE BEAUTY WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS AND WITH PASSERSBYS IN GENERAL.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
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How's this for prescience?
I got the need to start work on this project back in November of last year - 2019 - after reading in a newspaper that the number of Royal Princes in one middle-east country has climbed to over 1,000!
Its title is - "STAY HOME AND MULTIPLY."

QUERY - IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A COUNTRY TO, IN 4
GENERATIONS, GO FROM RIDING CAMELS AND LIVING IN TENTS PITCHED ON
SAND TO RIDING IN MERCEDES AND LIVING IN PALACES WHILE PRODUCING
" . . . OVER 1,000 ROYAL PRINCES" (AND, PRESUMABLY, THE SAME NUMBER
OF ROYAL PRINCESSES) BACK TO RIDING CAMELS ON, REGRETTABLY BUT
INEVITABLY, BREAKING-UP CONCRETE?
WHETHER THE COLLAPSE COMES FROM INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL STRIFE OR
FROM A LACK OF DEMAND FOR THE ONLY PRODUCT - OR FROM ALL 3 - IT’S NOW
PRETTY CERTAIN THAT IT WILL HAPPEN JUST AS IT DID IN ANOTHER COUNTRY,
THIS ONE IN SOUTH AMERICA THAT HAS THE LARGEST OIL RESERVES IN THE
ENTIRE WORLD (VERIFIED), THAT MANAGED TO REACH THAT GOAL IN BARELY 3
GENERATIONS?
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MOTHER AND DAUGHTER