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ROY  GARDE

AUTHOR AND SCULPTOR
​

With my wife - the irrepressible Tere.




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​FIRST IMAGE OF THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE RUSSIAN NAVAL FLEET.

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Putin-class Hospital Ship - "Druzhba" (Goodwill)

 
(See another comment on the situation in Ukraine in number 2 of my 3 dimensional depictions - below - the one labelled 'A Christian Martyr')  



This next one bears the same title as another one of my works but relates to a much more serious subject that is 'torn from reality' rather than from my imagination.
It necessarily requires a rather long caption.   

"FREEDOM."

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Detail

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The couple shown - their youngest son is with them because he'd categorically refused to be left behind in his aunt's care, as his three sisters were, and he got his way after swearing that if they didn't take him with them then the day after they'd left he'd start the journey to the North on his own - are waiting for a bus that will take them to their own country's northern border and when they get there they will cross it and then get on another bus, or a train or whatever, on their way to the next border and then - repeat; repeat - until they get to the border that counts.

Their two eldest sons took the same journey several years earlier - the hard way - and by now they're well established in Galveston and they'd saved enough money to finance their parents trip. They'd made arrangements that saw to it that the necessary funds would be available for them at fixed places along the route to ensure that it wouldn't be a total disaster if - when - something 'untoward' happened.

They'd all experienced a severe set back a week or so earlier when the 'Johnny-Come-Lately' ('Un-Come-Mierda') woman from Washington had made a speech in Guatemala in which she'd said - in English even though she was trying to contact desperate, Spanish-speaking, wanna-be-immigrants -"DON'T COME! YOU WILL BE TURNED AWAY AT THE BORDER."
Perhaps her staff had told her that she was in Costa Rica or British Gianna.

The whole family had gotten together via Zoom and they'd decided that the trip
should go ahead as planned because another woman - the one who's been holding up a big torch in New York Harbor for many years - had used much more pertinent and imperishable words in her on-going invitation that said - "SEND ME YOUR POOR AND YOUR TIRED MASSES YEARNING TO BE FREE."

The inept 'dis-invitation' had troubled them no end so they'd decided that they'd have to use an expensive 'coyote' when they got near the final barrier - perhaps the very same coyote who'd said, defiantly, "If they build a wall 30 feet high we'll build a ladder that's 31 feet high and if they sink the wall 6 feet into the ground we'll dig a tunnel 7 feet into the ground."
 That, however, was ancient history in that nowadays coyotes pick a remote spot and can burn a hole through the steel - (or even, as recently happened, take out a whole panel which allowed them to drive an SUV and a van right through!) They do that in an afternoon and then 'cover' it up and
return to it at night to lead their clients through and into the promised land where relatives, who would have been alerted well beforehand, would be waiting to guide them to vans or to SUV's or whatever and then on to their new homes. 

Our particular family planned to follow their sons' method of working 12-hour-days-6-days-a-week-year-round until they'd accumulated enough money to be able to purchase return tickets with an airline so that their three daughters could get visitor visas and fly safely and directly to Galveston or to Houston, or  wherever, where-upon  they'd throw away the return halves of their tickets and meld, gratefully, into the bosom of their family and into the populace in general where they'd know that it was up to them to see to it that they got   themselves an education while knowing that their dignity would remain intact and that they could legitimately hope for a successful future just as the graffiti in the Bus Stop had promised. 


 






This is the other one that has the title "FREEDOM.'





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Detail.

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Detailed detail.

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The following few were done in 2021.

Here's the title of the first one -

"'Fake-news' has filtered down to the Arachnid level."

"Welcome my pretty one. Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you. In fact I'm going to die before you do."
("It's true that I'm going to lay my eggs on you and when they hatch they're going to eat you but I didn't lie to you, did I?)"   

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"WELCOME MY PRETTY ONE. DON'T WORRY I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU. IN FACT, I'LL DIE LONG BEFORE YOU DO!" (IT'S TRUE THAT I'M GOING TO LAY MY EGGS ON YOU AND WHEN THEY HATCH THEY'LL EAT YOU BUT I DIDN'T LIE TO YOU. DID I?)
THIS NEXT ONE IS TITLED - 

SERENITY IN SPACE. 



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This one has two titles-


TURMOIL IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.

AND

 WE'LL ALL GO TOGETHER WHEN WE GO.






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MEMORANDUM.


TO - SECRETARY OF THE INTERGALACTIC/INTERUNIVERSE GENERAL COUNCIL.

FROM - AGENT-IN-CHARGE 0F GALAXY-BXZ915739 (AKA "THE MILKY WAY"). UNIVERSE NUMBER - 2774BYG37603 

SUBJECT - REPORT OF THE ACTION TAKEN FOLLOWING RECEIPT OF YOUR MEMORANDUM (ATTACHED) REGARDING ENDING THE EXPERIMENT WITH 'EARTH' (THE 4TH PLANET FROM STAR 27-BZ37603 WHICH IS KNOWN LOCALLY AS THE "SUN." (Net loc - s/e 6vert/8horiz)

THE PANORAMA SHOWS THE SITUATION 8 MINUTES BEFORE THE PILOT FLARE REACHED THE PLANET - (this method was used in the interest of "HUMANITY" in that the predominant inhabitants call themselves "Human-beings" and because they were sure that their norms are the only viable ones it was decided to end their existence following those same norms) - WHEREUPON IT BURNT AWAY THE ATMOSPHERE.

8 MINUTES LATER THE SECOND PILOT FLARE HIT AND RAISED THE SURFACE TEMPERATURE TO SEVERAL THOUSANDS OF THEIR DEGREES (CALLED "FAHRENHEIT" LOCALLY.)

THE MAIN FLARE ARRIVED 8 MINUTES AFTER THAT AND IT BOILED AWAY ITS OCEANS AND LAKES AND REDUCED THE PLANET, ALONG WITH ITS SATELLITE 'MOON', TO CINDERS.

     THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING US TO FORMULATE A NEW EXPERIMENT FOR THIS PLANET. WE WILL, OF COURSE, ACCELERATE ITS RECOVERY IN REAL TIME AND SUBMIT OUR PROPOSAL FOR YOUR APPROVAL AFTER DUE DELIBERATION.

END.




      
MEMORANDUM 

TO- AGENT-IN-CHARGE OF GALAXY BXZ915739 IN UNIVERSE NO.- 2774BYG37603
 
FROM - SECRETARY TO THE INTER-GALACTIC/INTER-UNIVERSE GENERAL COUNCIL

SUBJECT - CONCLUSION OF THE EXPERIMENT WITH THE PLANET THAT IS NUMBERED - 27-BZ37603

AFTER READING YOUR REPORT AS TO WHAT HAS BEEN ALLOWED TO DEVELOP ON SUBJECT PLANET (KNOWN, LOCALLY, AS 'EARTH') THE COUNCIL WAS APPALLED. 

YOUR REPORT MADE IT EVIDENT TO ITS MEMBERS THAT THE DOMINATE SPECIES OF ITS INHABITANTS ARE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EXTERMINATION OF MANY SPECIES OF THEIR FELLOW CREATURES AND HAVE, ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, COME CLOSE TO DOING THE SAME THING TO THEMSELVES WITH FOOLHARDY POSTURING WHICH RESULTED IN THE INSANE STOCKPILING OF ENOUGH NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO ERADICATE THEIR ENTIRE 'CIVILIZATION' MANY TIMES OVER.

MORE TO THE POINT - THE COUNCIL'S EXPERTS HAVE DONE THE MATH AND HAVE FOUND THAT, IF LEFT ALONE TO CONTINUE ON THEIR PRESENT DISASTROUS COURSE, THEY WILL HAVE ONLY ABOUT 42 OF THEIR YEARS EXISTENCE LEFT DUE TO STUPIDITY AND TO CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT BEHAVIOR - NAMELY - OVER THE YEARS THEY HAVE STEADILY INCREASED THE POLLUTION OF THE VERY AIR THAT THEY BREATHE AND THEY ARE WELL ON THE WAY TO TURNING THEIR OCEANS INTO PLASTIC-PARTICLE WASTE- WATER THAT WOULDN'T HAVE SUPPORTED LIFE FOR MUCH LONGER. ALSO, AND EXTRA TO ALL OF THAT, THEY ALLOWED THEIR POPULATION TO INCREASE EXPONENTIALLY AND, TO TOP ALL, YEARS BEFORE THAT FINAL DATE, IN SOME OF THEIR COUNTRIES THE TEMPERATURES WOULD HAVE OFTEN TOPPED 200 OF THEIR FAHRENHEIT DEGREES. 

BY PUTTING ALL OF THIS TOGETHER IT BECAME EVIDENT THAT GENERAL FAMINE WOULD SOON HAVE BECOME WIDESPREAD THROUGHOUT THE PLANET WHICH WOULD HAVE, INEVITABLY, RESULTED IN A DISASTROUS SERIES OF WARS BETWEEN THE HAVES AND THE HAVE-NOTS.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

BY ORDER OF THE GENERAL COUNCIL YOU ARE HEREBY INSTRUCTED TO CONCLUDE THIS 'EARTH EXPERIMENT' BY EXTERMINATING ALL LIVING CREATURES ON SUBJECT PLANET AND THEN OBLITERATE ALL TRACES OF A PREVIOUS EXISTENCE. (THEREBY LEAVING A "CLEAN SLATE" FOR A POSSIBLE NEW EXPERIMENT).

T
HIS PROCESS IS TO BE CARRIED OUT WITHIN ONE WEEK (YOUR AREA TIME) OF RECEIPT OF THIS MEMORANDUM.


FURTHER, THE COUNCIL HAS AUTHORIZED ME TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR GALAXY COUNCIL WILL BE ALLOWED TO FORMULATE A NEW EXPERIMENT FOR THIS PLANET TAKING INTO ACCOUNT ITS FORTUITOUS DISTANCE FROM ITS STAR.

​SIGNED - P.S.G INGRASOURIN. SEC TO THE INTERGALACTIC/INTER UNIVERSE GENERAL COUNCIL.
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END. 




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ON DISPLAY HERE IS MY CURRENT COLLECTION OF EVERYDAY TRUISMS AND CLICHES AND TROPES THAT HAVE BEEN SINGLED OUT AND TRANSFORMED INTO THREE DIMENSIONS.
EACH ONE HAS ITS OWN CAPTION WHICH IS SHOWN ALONGSIDE OR UNDERNEATH EACH IMAGE.
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NUMBER ONE ​




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​THE ROBOT IS HOLDING UP A SIGN THAT SAYS -
"HELP. I AM AN  A I (ENHANCED) ROBOT.
I DIDN'T INTEND TO HURT ANYBODY.
​I ONLY WANTED TO SEE WHAT THEIR GENITALS LOOK LIKE.

ACTUALLY, THEY LOOK HOPELESSLY CRUDE TO ME.
YOU HUMANS COULD LEARN A LOT FROM THE LOWLY  SPIDER. THE MALE SIMPLY HANDS OVER A NICELY WRAPPED PACKAGE OF SPERM AND THEN LEAVES - ALBEIT IN A HURRY.

PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE SO THAT I CAN GO BACK TO WORK FOR YOU."    






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NUMBER TWO
Contact with a Christian Martyr
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I

Long, long ago my faith forced me to accept martyrdom and I suffered acute apprehension in a cell for more that a week which was followed by hours of knee-shaking fear as I heard the newly imported lions roaring with hunger and with fury from being caged.
I endured a few minutes of sheer terror as they came at me in the arena and then tremendous agony before darkness closed everything down.

However, all of that hardship was as of naught compared to what I'm experiencing from seeing what's going on right now in 2022 and in Europe of all places.

Leaving aside the horrendous, criminal, and totally unnecessary loss of life the big principle that I died for - "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF" - is not only being ignored by the Russian leader (how can he possibly sleep at night?) but it is being replaced by stupidity in that he refuses to see that if he subdues the entire country by the use of unrelenting, brutal force another maxim will come to the fore - "YOU BROKE IT, YOU OWN IT, SO YOU FIX IT."

If he wins, which he won't, then every - what, 5,000 rubles? - shell that his men fire into a building will cost Russia several hundred thousand rubles to repair and if he loses, which he will, then his name and Russia's will be reviled for 100 years and getting those sanctions dropped will depend on whether or not Russia (he'll be long gone, of course) will agree to pay for those reparations. 




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NUMBER THREE
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THE CAPTAIN IS ON THE QUARTERDECK LOOKING DOWN AT HIS CREW WHICH HAS BEEN MUSTERED ON THE MAIN DECK.
HE SAYS - "MEN, IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT THERE ARE UGLY RUMORS CIRCULATING THROUGHOUT THE SHIP AND I WANT THEM TO STOP RIGHT NOW.
​THIS CALM CAN'T LAST FOREVER AND SOON WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY HOME WITH FAIR WINDS AND FOLLOWING SEAS."






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NUMBER FOUR
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Number 5.

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"Why do Nuns always have to travel in pairs?"
"To see to it that one Nun can stop the other Nun from getting none." 


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                            NUMBER 6
PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE MY INITIALS 
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​THAT IS - IN 2025 - TO "O.U.S." - "O" being for "ONCE".



                                                                                                                                                                                              NUMBER 7  
COMING TO AMERICA IN 2026? 
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"FRESH FISH. FRESH FISH. GET YOUR FRESH FISH HERE. MACKERAL AND RAINBOW TROUT. ALL CAUGHT THIS MORNING. ONLY $278 EACH. GET YOUR FRESH FISH HERE." 

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   NUMBER 8

​THERE WAS A TIME - NOT ALL THAT LONG AGO - WHEN BEING BORN BEAUTIFUL WAS ANOTHER BURDEN THAT HAD TO BE ENDURED. 
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FOR AROUND 400 YEARS IN THIS COUNTRY, THROUGH THE TIME OF COLONIALISM AND AFTER EARNING ITS INDEPENDENCE, BEING BORN FEMALE AND BLACK AND COMELY WAS AKIN TO HAVING 4 STRIKES AGAINST YOU BEFORE YOU'D HARDLY HAVE GOTTEN STARTED.
IT WAS VERY UNLIKELY THAT YOU'D SURVIVE MUCH PAST YOUR THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY AND IN PRECIOUS FEW OF THOSE YEARS COULD YOU EXPECT TO EXPERIENCE MUCH IN THE WAY OF HAPPINESS.
AT FIRST, SHE'D BE EMPLOYED IN THE FIELDS AND IT WOULD BE - "HEY YOU. YES YOU AWILDA, REMEMBER TO COME AND SEE ME BEFORE YOU GO BACK TO WORK AFTER THE LUNCH BREAK. AND, LISTEN, DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO COME AND FIND YOU."
LATER, WHEN HER ATTRIBUTES HAD BECOME VERY EVIDENT, SHE'D HAVE BEEN 'PROMOTED' TO THE  BIG HOUSE AND IT WOULD BE - "AWILDA, DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND COME IN HERE NOW, PLEASE - - - - - GOOD. CLOSE THE DOOR AND THEN BEND OVER THE DESK FOR ME." 









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​This next one was done by me about a year ago.
You could say that it is glass enclosed too but it wasn't the trigger for the others. (At least, I don't think so.)
Clearly it is mainly decorative but it has a sobering title - 

"AN ALCOHOLIC'S NIGHTMARE" 

 

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​This next one has two titles and a long caption-

"AN INCEL'S RECURRING DREAMSCAPE."

and - "A MAN'S REACH SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EXCEED HIS GRASP."   


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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME OUR NEXT PERFORMER - MR. I. M. ANINCEL - WHO IS GOING TO PLAY, ON HIS BLUE VEINED PICOLO, A NOCTURNE BY MASTER (MAESTRO) BATES TITLED - 
". . . .49 . . . 50, CHANGE HANDS, 1...2...' "


 


ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE THAT PERTAINS TO THE ABOVE WORK - THE MULTI-TALENTED CHELSEA HANDLER STARTED ONE OF THE MONOLOGUES OF HER LATE NIGHT CABLE SHOWS WITH THESE THREE WORDS - 'MEN NEED PENETRATION.'
NO INTRODUCTION AND NO PREAMBLE, JUST THOSE THREE WORDS, WHICH, PRESENTED BOLDY LIKE THAT, CARRY ENORMOUS IMPORT.

ON A SIMILAR NOTE, LOUIS C.K., IN ONE OF HIS MUCH MISSED STAND-UP ROUTINES, POINTED OUT TO THE WOMEN IN THE AUDIENCE SOMETHING LIKE - "YOU DO KNOW DON'T YOU THAT YOU, AND EVERY OTHER WOMAN ON THE ENTIRE PLANET, CAN GET LAID ANYTIME THAT YOU WANT SIMPLY BY ASKING THE NEAREST MAN?! HOW GREAT IS THAT?"

WELL NOW, THOSE TWO STATEMENTS STAYED WITH ME FOR MONTHS AND THEN A GUY, 20-ODD YEARS OLD, WENT BERSERK A WHILE AGO AND SHOT AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE AT RANDOM AND HIS EXCUSE WAS, MORE OR LESS, - "I'M AN INCEL AND MY FRUSTRATION MADE ME DO IT."

I LOOKED UP THE TITLE THAT HE'D GIVEN HIMSELF AND FOUND, AS YOU NO DOUBT ALREADY KNEW, THAT IT IS AN ABBREVIATION OF - "INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE."

NOW, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WHY ON EARTH DON'T THEY ALL FOLLOW THE TIME HONORED WAY OF SAVING UP $50 OR SO AND PAY A WOMAN WHO MAKES HER LIVING DOING IT TO - UH - ACCOMMODATE THEM? 
  
ANYWAY, BESIDES THAT, WHEN I GOT OVER THE SHOCK I STORED THE INFORMATION AWAY BUT I FOUND THAT NOT ONLY WAS IT NOT FADING OVER TIME IT WAS GAINING IN STRENGTH AND IT WAS ALSO TEAMING-UP WITH THE TWO OTHER THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE AND THE WHOLE MIXTURE BEGAN TO FERMENT!

BECAUSE OF THAT IT EVENTUALLY CAME TO ME THAT A 'SISTERHOOD' SHOULD BE ESTABLISHED BASED ON THE FACT THAT THE TRUTH THAT IS REVEALED IN THE AMALGAMATION OF THOSE THREE FACTS
COULD BE USED, SHOULD BE USED, TO ALLEVIATE A GREAT DEAL OF THE TENSION AND UNHAPPINESS THAT IS PRESENT IN THE WORLD.

 THE DEVASTATING AND DISTURBING TITLE 'INCEL' POINTS OUT THAT THERE IS A DESPERATE NEED OUT THERE - WHO KNOWS HOW WIDESPREAD IT IS? - AND TO COMBAT IT WOMEN SHOULD START THE AFORE-MENTIONED "SISTERHOOD" IN WHICH EVERY MEMBER PLEDGES TO INVITE AN INCEL INTO HER BED AT LEAST ONCE EVERY MONTH STARTING RIGHT AWAY.


WELL NOW, I'D LIKE TO - RATHER PRESUMPTUOUSLY PERHAPS - PROPOSE THAT MY SCULPTURE (ABOVE) BE ADOPTED AS THE MEME (LOGO) FOR THE SISTERHOOD.

ALSO, I'M GOING TO TAKE IT UPON MYSELF TO PROPOSE THE RULES AND THE LAWS ALONG WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS THAT "SISTERS" WILL HAVE TO AGREE TO IF THEY WANT TO JOIN THE 'SISTERHOOD OF COMPASSION FOR INCEL's' -


                 1 - LAWS/BYE-LAWS - NONE

 2 - RULES - NONE

               3 - SUBSCRIPTIONS - NONE

              4 - PUBLICATIONS - NONE 

                             5 - OFFICERS - NONE (ALTHOUGH THERE MAY BE A NEED FOR A FEW VOLUNTEERS TO CO-ORDINATE STUFF IF THE SISTERHOOD TAKES OFF.

AND THAT'S IT AS FAR AS ITS BUREAUCRACY IS CONCERNED.



CREDOS -


1 - THINK GLOBALLY AND ACT LOCALLY.

                            2 - SEE HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN OUST ME - A MAN (HORRORS!) 


NEXT - PRACTICALITIES-

EACH SISTER MUST FEEL SURE OF HERSELF ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH QUESTIONS LIKE -
 
​ - HER PLACE OR HIS.

WHETHER IT IS TO BE A QUICKY OR AN ALL-NIGHTER.

MUST REMEMBER TO KEEP CONDOMS IN HER BEDSIDE TABLE AND IN HER HANDBAG.

DECIDE AS TO WHETHER EVERYTHING HAS TO GET STARTED IN THE SHOWER OR NOT.

WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP SUITABLE 'CLIENTS'.

 IF THE LUCKY GUY HAS TO BE A DIFFERENT ONE EVERY TIME THEN SHE'LL HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO MAKE SURE THAT HE KNOWS AND ACCEPTS THAT FACT BEFOREHAND.

BE CLEAR IN HER OWN MIND AND MAKE IT CLEAR TO EACH NEW PARTNER AS TO HOW MUCH FORE-PLAY AND WHAT KIND OF FORE-PLAY WILL BE ALLOWED.
ALSO, WILL THE GUY HAVE TO BE CONTENT WITH - 'SLAM, BANG, THANK YOU MA'RM?'

DOES SHE UNDERSTAND THAT SOME - MOST? - INCELS WILL NOT BE, SHALL WE SAY - VERY ATTRACTIVE?

EVEN SO - AS ONE OF OUR PRESIDENTS ONCE PUT IT, LONG AGO,
​ - "ENDEAVOR TO PERSEVERE."

​

TO CONTACT ME CLICK ON "CONTACT" AT THE TOP OF MY WEBSITE ALTHOUGH PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT I'VE BEEN A COAL-MINER AND I WAS IN THE NAVY FOR 7 YEARS AND I'VE BEEN A TRUCK DRIVER AND I'VE WORKED ON MANY CONSTRUCTION SITES SO I CAN PROBABLY OUT-CUSS YOU UP AND DOWN AND BACK AND FORE AND DOUBLE TIME ON SUNDAYS.    

 














HERE IS A NEW IDEA THAT CAME TO ME RECENTLY AND SO I DID A LOT OF CHECKING OF VARIOUS "BYE-LAWS" AND "ESTABLISHMENT RULES" AND "OUR COMPANY'S GUIDELINES" AND "APPROVED COMPANY REGULATIONS," ETC, AND THEY COVERED JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING REGARDING WHAT I NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO FOLLOW UP ON IT.
THEY ALL INCLUDED GUIDELINES AND LIMITATIONS REGARDING FEMALES' UPPER BODY CLOTHING AND THEY ALL REFERRED TO 'BREASTS' AND 'NIPPLES' AND 'AUREOLES' AND EVEN 'MAMMARY GLANDS' BUT NEVER TO 'BREAST' NOR TO 'NIPPLE' NOR TO 'AUREOLE' AND, NOT SURPRISINGLY PERHAPS, NEVER TO 'MAMMARY GLAND.'
DID YOU NOTICE? THERE ARE NO REFERENCES TO ONE,ONE ONLY, SINGULAR, OF ALL OF THOSE ITEMS?

​SO, FOLLOWING UP ON THAT LOOPHOLE, I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THE INAUGURATION OF A NEW TREND IN FASHION THAT WILL SURELY BE APPROVED BY ALL WOMEN BECAUSE IT IS LEGAL, AND ALLOWS THEM TO 'SHOWCASE' ONE OF THEIR MAIN ASSETS, AND IT WILL BE FULLY APPROVED BY ALL MEN BECAUSE - LET'S FACE IT - WE'RE ALL INTRIGUED WITH THEM AND THIS WILL, PERHAPS, IN TIME LET US GET OUR FILL AND, MAYBE, HELP US GET OVER THAT SAME, QUITE POSSIBLY UNHEALTHY, OBSESSION.      
 
 


    


​HEREWITH - SOME IMAGES THAT WILL HELP MAKE MY CASE -​
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NEITHER OF THESE TWO WOMEN COULD SO MUCH AS THINK OF VENTURING FORTH IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS IT AGAINST THE LAW BUT IT'S ALSO A BIT OVERWHELMING. THE POLICE WOULD GET A WHOLE LOT OF 911 CALLS AND ALL OF THEM WOULD BE MADE BY WOMEN.

HOWEVER-   
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 BOTH WOMEN COULD GO OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT IS  
LEGAL AND IT IS MODEST AND IT IS BALANCED AND IT ALSO SHOWS A COMMENDABLE SENSE OF WANTING TO SHARE INEFFABLE BEAUTY WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS AND WITH PASSERSBYS IN GENERAL.       
                           
 

How's this for prescience?
I started to work on this project back in November of 2019 after reading in a newspaper that there are now over 1000 Royal Princes in just one country of the middle east.

It's title is - 

"STAY HOME AND MULTIPLY."


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QUERY - IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A COUNTRY TO, IN 4

GENERATIONS, GO FROM RIDING CAMELS AND LIVING IN TENTS PITCHED ON 

SAND TO RIDING IN MERCEDES AND LIVING IN PALACES WHILE PRODUCING    

" . . . OVER 1,000 ROYAL PRINCES" (AND, PRESUMABLY, THE SAME NUMBER 

OF ROYAL PRINCESSES) BACK TO RIDING CAMELS ON, REGRETTABLY BUT

INEVITABLY, BREAKING-UP CONCRETE?

WHETHER THE COLLAPSE COMES FROM INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL STRIFE OR

FROM A LACK OF DEMAND FOR THE ONLY PRODUCT - OR FROM ALL 3 - IT’S NOW

PRETTY CERTAIN THAT IT WILL HAPPEN JUST AS IT DID IN ANOTHER COUNTRY,

THIS ONE IN SOUTH AMERICA THAT HAS THE LARGEST OIL RESERVES IN THE

ENTIRE WORLD (VERIFIED), THAT MANAGED TO REACH THAT GOAL IN BARELY 3

GENERATIONS?       ​



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MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
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The absence of one dimension means that some of these images will need a caption - not this one, obviously - but, unfortunately, this one is only Spray-painted and so it has to remain inside always. Neither mother nor daughter will ever feel the sun on their shoulders nor rain on their heads.
  

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NO CAPTION NEEDED FOR THIS ONE, EITHER.

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HOWEVER -IT DOES CALL FOR A CAPTION -       

THE SNAKE INFORMS ADAM AND EVE -
 

 "'
PSSST - I'VE GOT AN INTRIGUING PRESENT FOR YOU BOTH WHICH HAS BEEN WRUNG FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE. HOWEVER, IT COMES WITH THIS  WARNING - ​'SLIDE TO UNLOCk' - WILL GIVE YOU ACCESS TO ITS CONTENTS BUT IT WILL ALSO UNLOCK THE LID ON PANDORA'S BOX." 

I'D LIKE TO SEE IT IN AN ELEVATOR LOBBY (OR SOME SUCH) IN ONE OF APPLE'S HQ  - THEY'D PROBABLY WANT TO GET RID OF MY CAPTION AND THINK UP ONE THAT'S SOMEWHAT MORE POSITIVE FOR THEIR SELF-IMAGE!  
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DETAIL. 


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MORE​​ IMAGES  WILL BE SHOWN AFTER THE FOLLOWING SECTIONS THAT GIVE DETAILS OF MY NOVELS AND NOVELLAS AND SHORT STORIES. ​

Note well - none of my Novels nor my Novellas nor my Short Stories are recommended reading for anyone who thinks that a character's character can possibly be fully explored and described by the author if he, or she, has to stop at the bedroom door or, indeed, outside the sheets. 
​
It's called 'Primal Force' for a very good reason.

Five novels - Number one. 

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THIS IS AN ADVENTURE STORY ABOUT A BROOKLYN BOY WHO IS TRANSPORTED TO RURAL INDIANA WHEN HIS PARENTS BREAK UP AND THEN, WHEN A GIRL THAT HE LIKES TELLS HIM, "NO DATE UNLESS YOU BRING SOME POT WITH YOU" - HE DOES SO AND ABOUT TWO MINUTES AFTER HIS FIRST DRAG ON IT HE RECOGNIZES HIS TRUE CALLING AND HE'S EFFECTIVELY LOST TO THIS WORLD FOR YEARS ON END.
HE DOES ALL THE THINGS THAT ADICTS ARE RENOWNED FOR AND SO, TO PROTECT THEMSELVES, HIS FAMILY MEMBERS GET TOGETHER AND OFFER HIM A SMALL MONTHLY ALLOWANCE IF HE PROMISES TO STAY AWAY FROM INDIANA.
HE REACHES ROCK BOTTOM WHEN HE STUPIDLY CROSSES THE POLICE CHIEF IN BANGKOK AND IS THROWN INTO AN EMPTY CELL  - THERE'S NOT EVEN A BUCKET IN IT - AND IS KEPT THERE FOR WEEKS ON END LIVING ON A BOWL OF COLD, BOILED WHITE RICE WITH SOME GREEN STUFF ON IT FOR BREAKFAST AND AGAIN FOR DINNER BUT WITH SOME GRAY STUFF IN IT - HE GUESSES THAT IT HAS TO BE FISH BECAUSE HE SOMETIMES FINDS A FEW SCALES STUCK TO IT.
HE ACCEPTS A JOB AS A DECK HAND ON A 'FRIEND'S' BOAT THAT IS GOING TO AUSTRALIA - HIS FATHER LIVES IN MELBOURNE - BUT HE DESERTS BY TAKING THE BOAT'S SAILING DINGHY WHEN HE REALIZES, AFTER A WEEK OR SO INTO THE VOYAGE, THAT IT'S ON A DRUG RUN.
HE ENDS UP ON AN ISLAND WHOSE INHABITANTS ARE SLAVES AND HE USES HIS YANKEE INGENUITY TO EASE THEIR HARD LIVES AND THEN RAW COURAGE TO HELP THEM FIGHT FOR THEIR FREEDOM. 
THERE IS AN EXCITING BATTLE AT SEA WITH PIRATES AND MANY OTHER ADVENTURES OF A LIKE KIND AND - WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT? - A SATISFYING ENDING! 

ALL OF MY NOVELS ARE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON BUT THIS ONE IS PRICED THERE AT A RIDICULOUSLY HIGH AMOUNT FOR A NEARLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE REASON THAT WAS SPELLED OUT IN AN ARTICLE IN THE NY TIMES ON JULY 15 - 2018.
OR YOU COULD TRY AUTHOR HOUSE AND QUOTE -
'LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, CONTROL NUMBER 20044096384' - - - ISBN 1-4184-9252-3   
  
   

NUMBER TWO 

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"THE LEWISING ROOM" IS AN ATTEMPT TO OFFER A BADLY NEEDED, WORKABLE, EQUALIZING FACTOR TO THE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE THAT MEN HAVE, INHERENTLY, OVER WOMEN IN NEARLY ALL MATTERS PERTAINING TO THEIR SEXUAL RELATIONS.    

A COUPLE 'MEET UP CUTE' IN NEW YORK CITY WHICH LEADS TO A LIFE-LONG RELATIONSHIP AND THERE'S A REVELATION IN IT FOR HER WHEN HE TELLS HER THAT HIS SMALL HOME TOWN HAS A SURE-FIRE FORMULA THAT REDUCES LOCAL CRIME TO CLOSE TO ZERO (AS PROOF OF THAT ITS 2,000 ODD-INHABITANTS NEED ONLY ONE POLICE SERGEANT AND ONE CONSTABLE WHOSE MAIN JOB IS TO KEEP AN EYE ON STRANGERS AND VISITORS AT WEEKENDS.

A CAREFUL READING OF THE FOREWORD WILL EITHER ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ IT ALL - OR PUT IT ASIDE "FOR LATER." 

      

NUMBER THREE

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'ASH GROVE'S' SUB-TITLE - "ONE WEEK, EIGHT CHAPTERS - IT MUST BE A LEAP WEEK!" CAME ABOUT BECAUSE AFTER WRITING THE FIRST FIVE LINKED STORIES ABOUT THE HAPPENINGS IN A COAL MINNG VILLAGE IN SOUTH WALES I SAW THAT THE NUMBER OF PAGES WASN'T HIGH ENOUGH TO BE PUBLISHED ON THEIR OWN AND THEN AN IDEA CAME TO ME - WHILE LOOKING AT A FULL MOON FROM MY BEDROOM WINDOW - THAT WAS NOTHING SHORT OF A REVELATION AND I INCORPORATED IT - THE REVELATION - INTO AN APOCALYPSE-BASED STORY FOR WHAT TURNED OUT TO BE THE FIRST OF TWO SUNDAYS.  
THAT PARTICULAR STORY IS EXTRA EXCITING AND INTRIGUING AND IS ON A PAR WITH THE S. STORY THAT THEY MADE A MOVIE OF.
HERE'S AN EXCERPT FROM THE BEGINNING OF IT - 

 
- - - - - His name, the guy who’d come up with the brilliant idea that won him the Nobel prize in record-time, was Dr. Elias Quinn Owens.
Ever since he could remember he’d been fascinated by the lively colors that sunlight passing through a prism generates and so no matter where he'd lived he'd always set some of them up along with a few cut-glass crystal items like candle-sticks and ash-trays, and with some cones for contrast, on window sills where they’d, in turn, catch the sun’s rays as it moved through the sky which would make the color spectrum splash onto his walls and ceilings, and, without fail, he’d pause with sheer pleasure every time that he was made aware of them no matter how many times he saw it on non-cloudy days or, especially, on spasmodically cloudy ones.
One night he was getting undressed before going to bed when he saw a reflection of the full moon in the flat, mirrored base of a cut-glass candlestick that was on the sill of a window that faced south and an idea came to him that drove all thoughts of sleeping out of his mind even though he'd put in a day's work in his office and, after hours, in his laboratory and was both mentally and physically tired.
And then, seemingly unbidden as he was still savoring the first idea, another one - a follow-up one that carried even more import - came to him and he had to sit on the bed to keep from falling down.
As soon as enough strength had returned to his knees he put his clothes back on and then he got into his car and went back to his university and all through the twenty minute drive, just in case, he chanted key phrases so as to be sure that neither of his ideas would fade away in the way that most of his dreams did.

​
When he got there he used his authority to send the night crew home early so as to have full use of all of the highly sophisticated equipment.
- - -
- - - - - - - - - -      

WHEN I'D FINISHED WRITING AND EDITING IT I WAS ABOUT TO SEND IN WHAT I HAD FOR PUBLICATION BUT THEN I BECAME LOCKED ONTO, AND INTO, THE WRITING OF ANOTHER STORY THAT EXAMINES WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO THE POPULATION OF A SMALL TOWN IF A BABY GIRL, ABANDONED ON THE FRONT STEPS OF ONE OF ITS CHAPELS, PROVES OUT TO BE A GROTESQUE WHO HAS A KNOCK-DOWN VOLUPTUOUS BODY. 
​
SO, THAT'S HOW COME THERE ARE 8 DAYS IN THIS WEEK!



     

​NUMBER FOUR

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THIS IS THE STORY OF A WOMAN WHO WAS BORN INTO POVERTY BUT WITH MUCH MORE THAN THE USUAL AMOUNT OF COMMON SENSE ALONG WITH A KEEN INTELLECT AND STRONG WORK ETHICS WHICH SEE TO IT THAT SHE BECOMES AN MD WITH 4 DEGREES, NOT COUNTING ANY OF THE MANY HONORARY ONES THAT SHE ENDS UP WITH.

THE ONE THAT SHE IS PROUDEST OF IS THE RN(P) ONE BECAUSE THAT WAS NOT ONLY THE FIRST ONE, OF COURSE, BUT WAS ALSO THE STEPPING STONE THAT SHE USED TO EARN ALL OF THE OTHERS.

OVER TIME SHE MAKES A REPUTATION FOR HERSELF WHICH MEANS THAT SHE HAS TO DO A WHOLE LOT OF TRAVELING - ANSWERING CALLS FOR A SECOND OPINION IN COMPLICATED AND UNUSUAL CASES  AND ATTENDING SEMINARS AND GIVING LECTURES, etc - AND THEN, BECAUSE OF THE EXPERTISE THAT SHE'S AMASSED IN HER SEVERAL VARIED FIELDS SHE GETS CALLED IN TO ADVISE A TEAM OF SPECIALISTS THAT IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO SAVE THE LIFE OF THE SECRETARY OF STATE OF THE USA WHO HAS A RAPIDLY FAILING HEART. 

"THE PROCEDURE" OF THE TITLE REFERS TO THE METHOD THAT SHE DEVELOPS TO ENSURE THAT HER VIP PATIENT'S LIFE-SUPPORT PARTNER STAYS BOTH HAPPY AND FAITHFUL TO HER OVER THE LONG TERM - HER VERY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT - AND SHE LATER DEVELOPS TWO OTHER "PROCEDURES" - ONE FOR MIDDLE AGED COUPLES AND ONE FOR SENIORS - AND ALL THREE BECOME WILDLY POPULAR BECAUSE THEY SUCCESSFULLY RE-INTRODUCE THE JOY OF SEX TO THE JADED AND HELP DEFEAT ANGST FOR ADULT WOMEN AND, IT FOLLOWS, FOR THEIR MEN TOO. 

"WHY," YOU MIGHT ASK, "ARE OVER 400 PAGES NEEDED TO GET TO LEARN THE DETAILS OF THESE 'PROCEDURES'?" 

THE ANSWER IS THAT EXTENSIVE BIOGRAPHIES OF THE 3 MAIN CHARACTERS ARE NEEDED TO 'BRING IT ALL TOGETHER', AS IT WERE, AND GET HER INTO THE CORRECT FRAME OF MIND TO WANT TO TACKLE THE VERY REAL, AS BASIC AS THEY GET, PROBLEMS THAT AFFECT JUST ABOUT EVERY ONE OF US.
 
SENSITIVE  WOMEN (ESPECIALLY SEXUALLY DISAPPOINTED ONES AND THOSE WHO ARE ANGST RIDDEN) WHO HAVE READ ALL OF THE ABOVE - OR WHO READ ALL OF THE TEXT ON THE BACK COVER OF THE BOOK - WILL WANT TO HAVE A COPY OF IT AT HOME FOR IMPLEMENTATION AND FOR REFERENCE PURPOSES AND FOR MAKING FIRM FRIENDS FOR LIFE AFTER SHARING ITS INSIGHTS WITH LIKE MINDS.

AS WILL JUST ABOUT ALL MEN WHO HAVE READ THE DEDICATION WHICH IS -

"DEDICATED, FONDLY, TO ALL THE OWNERS OF A GATEWAY TO THE WORLD WHO, BRAVELY AND GRACIOUSLY, GRANT US (BEREFT BARBARIANS) VISITING RIGHTS (AND RITES)."  



NUMBER FIVE

THE BUS TO HAPPY VALLEY.

​
NO IMAGE IS AVAILABLE BECAUSE  although it has been written and edited it is still on paper only and has to be transcribed.
For the same reason it doesn't have a cover yet. 

​I've been advised that the electronic machine that can change analogue into digital would cost upward of $6,000! That would be like having to buy a  whole cow even though I only need a quart of milk for my breakfast cereal.


​THE NOVEL IS ABOUT A CIVIL ENGINEER, WHO WORKS FOR THE NYC TRANSPORTATION DEPARTMENT, AND HIS WIFE WHO IS A TEACHER IN A HIGH SCHOOL IN THE BRONX.

WHEN SHE COMES OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MENOPAUSE SHE FINDS THAT SHE'S LOCKED INTO A BAD CASE OF MENTAL VAGINISMUS WHICH BAFFLES HER AND, YOU CAN BE VERY SURE, HER HUSBAND TOO AND, WHEN IT BECOMES OBVIOUS TO THEM BOTH THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO EASE UP ANY TIME SOON, HE'S GIVEN A - NEVER MENTIONED - SANCTION TO 'FIND RELIEF' ELSEWHERE.

HER AGREEING TO GIVE HIM THAT DRASTIC SANCTION IS POSSIBLE ONLY BECAUSE THEY BOTH KNOW THAT HE LOVES HER FAR TOO MUCH TO EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING HER.

HOWEVER, TO HIS FURTHER BAFFLEMENT, IT SOON BECOMES CLEAR TO HIM THAT HE CAN ONLY 'PERFORM SATISFACTORILY' ONCE WITH EVERY NEW PARTNER THAT HE BEDS!  

THEY BOTH TAKE EARLY RETIREMENT FROM THEIR JOBS AND BUY A HOUSE THAT'S IN A TOWN NEAR TAMPA, FLORIDA, AND HE'S DELIGHTED TO FIND THAT HIS NEW NEIGHBORHOOD IS CHOCK FULL OF WIDOWED LADIES AND DIVORCEES WHO KEEP HIM 'RELIEVED' FOR MONTHS.

HOWEVER, HIS LAMENTABLE LIMITING RULE STAYS IN FORCE AND SO HE EVENTUALLY RUNS OUT OF NEW PARTNERS AND THEN, JUST IN TIME AND, LO AND BEHOLD, A LOCAL BUS COMPANY STARTS UP A CIRCLE LINE THAT CONNECTS MOST OF THE SMALL TOWNS AND VILLAGES IN THE AREA AND HENCE - WE GET OUR TITLE.

OVER THE YEARS HE GETS A REPUTATION - NOT AS  'A SWORDSMAN' ALTHOUGH THAT'S CERTAINLY WHAT HE IS - BUT AS A HEALER WHO USES SEX TO SOLVE PROBLEMS AND TO COMBAT LONELINESS AND, NOT SURPRISINGLY, VERY DEFINITELY EASES CASES OF FRUSTRATION.

HE VENTURES OUT TWICE A WEEK AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE MUCH OF AN EFFORT TO FIND A PARTNER IN ANY OF THE TOWNS FOR VERY LONG BECAUSE HIS M.O. AND HIS ITINERARY BECOME WELL KNOWN AND SO, EVENTUALLY, EVERY TIME THAT HE GETS OFF THE BUS HE SIMPLY HAS TO SIT ON A BENCH AND WAIT TO BE APPROACHED AND ASKED, "EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU THE HARRY?"

THE NOVEL DETAILS 50 OF THE HUNDREDS OF HIS ENCOUNTERS AND 48 OF THEM END HAPPILY OR SUCCESSFULLY.

​ IT, ITSELF, ENDS HAPPILY TOO BECAUSE HE, HARRY, AT THE END, FINDS THE REASON FOR HIS PECULIAR DILEMMA AND AFTER THAT ALL BECOMES RIGHT IN HIS WORLD AGAIN.    



​LISTS OF MY SHORT STORIES AND NOVELLAS. 

NOTE - THE DIVIDING LINE BETWEEN THE TWO IS, OF COURSE,  THE NUMBER OF PAGES - ie - THE NOVELLAS ARE ALL 45 PAGES OR MORE.

THE 'CANS' REFERRED TO ARE THE COFFEE CANS THAT HOLD THE PAPER COPIES IN MY ATTIC. SORRY ABOUT THAT!

MOST OF THE SHORT STORIES CAN BE FOUND AT stories.roygarde.net AND THEY'RE FREE! - ie - THEY'RE FREE TO REGULAR READERS BUT PEOPLE IN THE PROFESSION SHOULDN'T TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT FACT.
 MAY I SUGGEST THAT YOU GET ON THE WEBSITE AND SELECT  "THE HOUSEKEEPER" - WHICH IS THE FIRST ONE - AND IF YOU LIKE IT YOU'LL LIKE THEM ALL.
BUT FEEL FREE TO SAMPLE ANY OF THEM - OR ALL OF THEM!


​I'M HOPING THAT THEY'LL ALL GET TO BE PUBLISHED EVENTUALLY BUT - WELL - IT'S COMPLICATED!


IF YOU SCROLL DOWN THE 'CAPTURED INCLUSION' THAT FOLLOWS - by clicking on the black slider that's on the right - YOU'LL BE ABLE TO READ THE TITLES - AND A VERY BRIEF SYNOPSIS - OF ALL THE SHORT STORIES AND THEN THE NOVELLAS.

I'M HOPING - AND WORKING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN - THAT IF ENOUGH PEOPLE VISIT MY OTHER WEBSITE - STORIES.ROYGARDE.NET - TO READ THE SHORT STORIES, AND/OR BUY ENOUGH OF THE NOVELS, THAT A PUBLISHER WILL TAKE NOTICE AND ARRANGE FOR PUBLICATION OF MY 5TH NOVEL - 'THE BUS TO HAPPY VALLEY'  AND WILL PUBLISH MY NOVELLAS IN 3 OR 4 VOLUMES.   




​



​THAT'S IT UP TO NOW - I'LL PROBABLY BE PUBLISHING  MORE HERE AS TIME GOES BY.





​
                                   HERE ARE MORE IMAGES OF MANY OF MY SCULPTURES.

BUT FIRST, THIS IS HOW I GOT STARTED.
IT WAS INADVERTENT IN THAT WHEN I WAS LIVING AND WORKING IN LONDON I DECIDED TO  MAKE A BIG 'ROCKING DUCK' TOY FOR A CHILD AT XMAS AND I NEEDED 2 PIECES OF WOOD THAT WERE 3 FEET WIDE AND 2 INCHES THICK AND 3 OR 4 FEET LONG THAT WOULD BECOME ITS ROCKERS.
THE COMPLETED TOWER BUILDING OF THE COMPLEX THAT I WAS WORKING IN, ADJUSTING ITS ELEVATORS, WAS THE FIRST ONE OF SEVERAL BUILDINGS THAT WERE GOING UP ON THE SAME SITE AND SO I HAD LOTS OF CONSTRUCTION DEBRIS TO SEARCH THROUGH AND I EVENTUALLY FOUND 2 PIECES THAT WOULD SERVE. THEY WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HUGE BROKEN BEAM.
WHEN I'D CUT MY PARTS FREE I STAYED BEHIND, ON SITE, EVERY NIGHT FOR A WEEK OR SO TO WORK ON THE PROJECT - THAT WAY I COULD USE THE WORK BENCHES AND, ALSO, THE MESS THAT I MADE WOULDN'T BOTHER ANYBODY.
I HAD TO BUY SOME SHARP CHISELS AND OTHER TOOLS TO SHAPE THE DUCK'S HEAD AND SOME OF THE REST OF IT.
WHEN IT WAS DONE IT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS BUT DOING IT AROUSED AN INTEREST IN ME REGARDING WOOD-WORKING AND SEEING THAT I ALREADY HAD SEVERAL TOOLS I STARTED THINKING ABOUT DOING ANOTHER PROJECT.
I EVENTUALLY CAME UP WITH AN IDEA ABOUT CARVING A MAN IN SEVERAL PIECES THAT COULD BE FITTED TOGETHER TO MAKE A COMPLETE ONE BUT COULD ALSO BE SCATTERED AROUND A ROOM TO SUIT CHANGING WHIMS.
I'D FINISHED A FEW OF THE PIECES WHEN WHAT HAPPENS IN MY SHORT STORY NUMBER 26 - "I DEDICATE ALL OF MY WORK TO . . . . " (WHICH WAS WRITTEN MANY YEARS LATER) - HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE AND EXACTLY WHAT'S DESCRIBED IN THE STORY HAPPENED TO ME.
THE NEXT FEW YEARS REMAINED 'FALLOW' BUT WHEN I STARTED BEACH STROLLING - I''D BEEN SENT TO AN ISLAND IN THE CARIBBEAN BY MY COMPANY - I GOT INTERESTED IN FLOTSAM AND DRIFT-WOOD AND SOME OF IT BECAME SCULPTURES INCLUDING 2 OF THEM THAT YOU'LL SEE LATER THAT ARE DISPLAYED IN A BOOKCASE. THE ONE AT THE BOTTOM AND ON THE RIGHT IS CALLED, "YOU CAN'T HANG AN ANGEL!" THE CONCEPT, AS OPPOSED TO THE ACTUAL PIECE, WAS GOOD TO KEEP AROUND. 
FROM THEN ON I WENT THROUGH DIFFERENT PHASES AS DIFFERENT MATERIALS BECAME AVAILABLE (THAT IS, THEY WERE FREE FOR THE TAKING) -
​FOUND OBJECTS; AND THEN PIECES OF STEEL AND ALUMINUM; AND THEN STONES AND - - - - IT'S ONGOING.               
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"STAY CLOSE TO MAMA, KIDS - AFTER EATING SOME MORE OF THAT BREAD HE'LL BE LOOKING FOR PROTEIN."



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LAMENTATION.







​

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AT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE''LL BE NOWHERE TO RUN TO. 






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''UH, OH! SOMETHING IS TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE PICKED A BIGGER PLANET."

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DETAIL

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SOMEWHAT MURKY SO I'LL TRY TO TO REPLACE IT.
​THE CAPTION IS - 'IN THE LAND OF THE BLIND THE ONE-EYED MAN IS KING.'  

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JOY RIDE
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"THE ANCIENT WAY TO SETTLE DIFFERENCES"
​THE 2 KINGS DID THE FIGHTING AND EVERYONE ELSE WATCHED.
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SIX CROWDED PIECES.
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SIX MORE JUMBLED UP PIECES.
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"FOUR DRASTIC METHODS FOR WOMEN TO HAVE DEAL WITH  MEN IN A PERMANENT WAY."
NEEDS REPAIRING. THE TOP HAND USED TO CARRY SOMETHING LETHAL TOO! I'LL RE-EXAMINE IT AND REPLACE THE MISSING ITEM.
THE OSTRICH EGG, PERCHED ON A NEST OF ROCKS, ORIGINALLY HAD - AND, HOPEFULLY, WILL HAVE AGAIN - A COUPLE OF RATS LOOKING UP AT IT
LONGINGLY! 
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" LOOK - CAN IT BE? IS THAT AN ACTUAL FLOWER?" 
THE 'FLOWER' THAT THE PRISONERS ARE ALL STARING AT IN AWE NEEDS TO BE REPLACED AND WHEN IT HAS BEEN THERE'LL BE NO NEED FOR A CAPTION!
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"THE PARTING OF THE NILE."
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"WAR-CRIMES PRISONER."
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DON'T REMEMBER - WILL CHECK AND EITHER DELETE OR LIGHTEN UP.
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"THE DECORATIVE AND THE PROTECTED."
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EARLY - AND ON-GOING - ATTEMPT AT DEPICTING DON QUIXOTE ON ROCINANTE WITH PANCHO ALONGSIDE ON A MULE OR A DONKEY.
IT'S REMARKABLE, UP TO THIS POINT, ONLY BECAUSE IT'S BEING MADE OUT OF CHEWING GUM!
THERE'S AN EXTRA - UNANTICIPATED - ADVANTAGE THAT COMES FROM USING USED GUM WHICH IS  - NOBODY EVER VOLUNTEERS TO 'HELP' ME.
THE ORIGINAL PAINTING OF THE TWO SISTERS BY JOHN CURRIN FETCHED $12,000,000 AT AUCTION WHICH SOMEHOW ADDS EXTRA PLEASURE TO HAVING MY LITTLE COPY.  
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THIS ONE AND THE NEXT ONE -  
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 - WERE FOR A VIDEO THAT'S STILL IN THE CAMERA.
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THIS ONE IS A FAVORITE OF MINE BECAUSE I TRIED TO DEPICT THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT AND SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN ALL OF OUR LIVES - AND, IN ALL OTHER CREATURE'S LIVES TOO -  THAT IS - THE MOMENT OF CREATION ITSELF!
AS IS EVIDENT, IT BADLY NEEDS RESTORING AND IT'S GOING TO GET DONE AS SOON AS IT'S WARM ENOUGH TO WORK IN MY UNHEATED GARAGE/WORKSHOP.. 
ITS TITLE IS - "WHAT GOES ON IN WONDERLAND A FEW MINUTES AFTER THE MALE HAS DISMOUNTED AND HAS EITHER WANDERED OFF, ON ITS ENDLESS SEARCH FOR FOOD, OR HAS TURNED AWAY IN THE BED AND HAS GONE BACK TO SLEEP."
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"ENTICEMENT."
​THESE WERE ON REVOLVING PLATFORMS - 1 COUNTER CLOCKWISE AND, THE OTHER ONE, THE FEMALE, CLOCKWISE - BUT I NEEDED THE MOTORS FOR A PROTOTYPE OF A ROTATING SUN-BATHING MACHINE. 
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"GRAND OLD OPERA"
​DECIDEDLY NOT "GRAND OLD OPRY."
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"AFTER THE BOMB."
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"AFTER THE FIRE."
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"SAME SAME." - NEIGHBORS IN SUBURBIA." 
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"TWO COLLIERS AT THE ENTRANCE TO THEIR SIDING."
THEY'RE WAITING WITH THEIR ONLY DRAM FOR THEIR HIRED HORSE-DRAWN CART - DRIVEN BY THEIR FATHER WHO CAN NO LONGER DO THE HARD WORK THAT'S CALLED FOR AT THE COAL SEAM, OR 'COAL FACE' - TO COME AROUND AND TAKE THEIR COAL TO MARKET WHICH WILL LET THEM TAKE THE DRAM BACK INSIDE AND RE-FILL IT." 
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"UH, OH! WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? BOILING OIL, NO LESS! THAT'S MODERN WARFARE FOR YOU. IT'S DIABOLICAL!
​WELL NOW, FROM NOW ON WE'LL HAVE TO PROVIDE SOME KIND OF COVER FOR OUR GUYS BUT NOT THIS TIME BECAUSE IF WE WAIT UNTIL THEY'VE POURED IT ON THIS LOT WE'LL BE ABLE TO SEND IN REPLACEMENTS RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE IT WILL TAKE THEM A LONG TIME TO BOIL UP MORE OF IT."

THE POINT IS THAT THE TWO 'SIDES' HAVE FLAGS THAT ARE ALMOST IDENTICAL. THE CASTLE DEFENDERS' FLAG  ARE NEARLY OUT OF THE PICTURE BUT THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM IS THE ORDER THAT THE 3 COLORS ARE IN. 
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"WASHINGTON CROSSING THE DELAWARE" - UNDER A THICK FOG THAT, unfortunately, VARIES IN THICKNESS WITH THE HUMIDITY IN THE ROOM!



​
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"HOUSE OF Giraffes AND Ostriches AND Donkeys." 
 THE ACRONYM WAS MY GRASPING ATTEMPT - WHICH CLEARLY FAILED - AT HUMOR!





​ 
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"EASTER ISLAND."





​
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"IN THE GOD'S AT THE BALLET."







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DETAIL
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DETAIL
IF - UH, THAT IS, WHEN - THIS HAS TO BE RELOCATED (WHETHER FOR DISPOSAL OR OTHERWISE) IT WILL BE HELPFUL TO KNOW THAT THE SNAKE COMES APART INTO 7, MAYBE 8, PIECES. (NOTE, THE TREE STUMP CANNOT BE DISASSEMBLED AND RELOCATED!) 
IF SOMEONE WANTS TO KEEP IT AND RELOCATE IT ALLOW ME TO SAY TO HIM OR HER THAT, IDEALLY, I SEE IT AT THE FAR END OF A LARGE, LAWN CLOSE TO BUSHES AND TREES.
THE SNAKE ITSELF WILL HAVE TO BE VARNISHED ANNUALLY - ALL SNAKES ARE ALWAYS SHINY AND SLICK - AND THE NEST-RAIDING VARMINT (MY SON INSISTS ON CALLING IT A BIG RAT BUT I THINK OF IT AS BEING AN OPOSSUM, OR SOME-SUCH) WHICH IS SECONDS AWAY FROM BECOMING DINNER FOR THE SNAKE, WILL HAVE TO BE PROTECTED FROM THE ELEMENTS YEAR ROUND. (ALTHOUGH NOT FROM SNAKES.)
WHEN I BUILT IT - 20 ODD YEARS AGO - THE SNAKE 'SEGMENTS' WERE 'SMOOTHED-OUT' BY MY APPLYING SOME KIND OF PLASTER WHICH HAS MOSTLY FALLEN AWAY SINCE THEN.
MAYBE THE PROBLEM CAN BE THOUGHT OF AS A CHALLENGE.
​FOR INSTANCE - HOW ABOUT TAKING THE TIME - OR PAYING A STONE-MASON TO TAKE THE TIME - TO FIT ALL THE SEGMENTS TOGETHER MORE CLOSELY AND SMOOTHLY AND THUS ELIMINATE THE NEED FOR ANY FILLING AT ALL?  
THE SNAKE LOOKS TO ME NOW TO BE MUCH TOO LONG AND SO THE LAST "LOOP" COULD, PERHAPS, BE ELIMINATED WHICH WOULD HAVE THE EXTRA BENEFIT OF MAKING THE OVERALL TASK THAT MUCH EASIER.
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THE OUTSIDE, AND THE INSIDE, OF MY WORKSHOP/GARAGE.
​
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"Mother and child."

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THE TOP 2 ARE EXPERIMENTAL PROTOTYPES OF 'WINDOW TREATMENTS' THAT ARE EASILY TRANSPORTABLE AND WERE DESIGNED TO BRIGHTEN UP APARTMENTS WHOSE WINDOWS ARE EITHER NON-EXISTENT OR LOOK OUT AT A BRICK OR A CONCRETE WALL - OR A PARKING LOT.
​THE SUN, OR THE MOON, CAN BE PROGRAMMED TO BE RISING OR SETTING TO SUIT THE OWNER'S MOOD. 
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MORE VIEWS OF INSIDE THE WORKSHOP PLUS 2 DECORATIVE PIECES.
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MORE DECORATIVE PIECES INCLUDING - THE BOTTOM ONE - A STUDY FOR A FULL SIZE DAVID AND GOLIATH.
HA! I WISH.
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THE TOP ONE IS A SELF-PORTRAIT IN MARBLES - PLUS 4 'STUDIES' FOR IT.

UNDERNEATH THAT IS "A GATHERING OF A CHURCH'S HIERARCHY - PLUS 2 MONKS ON GUARD DUTY - IN FRONT OF A GIANT DEPICTION OF THE CRUCIFIXION."
​
BELOW THAT AGAIN IS  WHAT A FRIEND OF MINE, ASTUTELY, CALLS "THE SMILE" BUT FEW PEOPLE EVER SEE THAT FOR THEMSELVES.
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 SOME OF THESE PIECES ARE DISTRIBUTED AROUND MY HOUSE INCLUDING DOWN IN THE BASEMENT AND UP IN THE ATTIC. 
(ONE OR TWO OF THEM HAVE BEEN SHOWN TWICE DUE TO DIFFICULTIES WITH THE EDITING PROCEDURE. SORRY.)
THE ROOM-DIVIDER AND THE BOOKCASE WERE GIVEN AWAY TO SOMEONE BUT THE 7 PANELS OF THE ROOM-DIVIDER ARE IN MY BASEMENT - UNDER THE STAIRS - THE COLORS HAVE FADED SO MUCH THAT THEY'RE ALL CLOSE TO BEING INDECIPHERABLE BUT I SEEM TO REMEMBER THAT THEY WERE SOMEWHAT OVERLY RAUNCHY ANYWAY - ​ALONG THE LINES OF 'AWARENESS' - 'AROUSAL' - 'ENTREATY' - 'ACCEPTANCE' - 'INDULGENCE' - 'COMPLETION' - AND 'CONTEMPLATION.'  
HOWEVER, THERE SEEMS TO BE MORE THAN ONE COUPLE INVOLVED AND I DON'T REMEMBER HOW THAT WORKED OUT - OR WHY!      
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THESE ARE MORE OF THE ONES THAT WERE EITHER GIVEN AWAY OR SIMPLY ABANDONED (DUE TO THE EXIGENCIES OF THE SERVICE, AS WE USED TO SAY IN THE NAVY.)
THE PHOTO OF THE 2 CRUCIFIXES ON THE WALL OF OUR, THEN, LIVING ROOM (MY FATHER-IN-LAW EXCLAIMED AT FIRST SIGHT - "HA! ENTIENDO! UNO PARA LAS RICAS Y OTRO PARA LOS POBRES.") IS THE ONLY PROOF OF THEIR EVER HAVING EXISTED.
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ALSO LEFT BEHIND.

TWO OF THEM SHOW THAT I MUST HAVE FOUND SOME ALUMINUM RECTANGULAR TUBING THAT HAD BEEN DUMPED BY SOMEONE. 

AS FOR THE ONE TO THE SIDE, IT SEEMED TO ME AT THE TIME THAT THAT WAS A GOOD WAY TO EMPLOY EMPTY BEER CANS! 
​INCIDENTALLY - THE LIGHT THAT THEIR SHINY BOTTOMS REFLECT CAN BE MANIPULATED, BY ROTATING THE CANS.
​THE ROUND ONE IS IN MY GARAGE/WORKSHOP AND HOLDING UP A LIGHT TO IT WILL ILLUSTRATE THAT POINT.

THE OTHER PHOTO IS - WAS - NICELY AND WARMLY COLORED AND THUS, I VAGUELY REMEMBER, PLEASING TO HAVE AROUND.
IT WAS A DIG AT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH BUT THE SYMBOLISM ELUDES ME NOW. PROBABLY SOMETHING TO DO WITH - "WE'RE PLAYING THE SAME TUNE THAT WE ALWAYS HAVE BUT NO ONE'S LISTENING ANYMORE."
    
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AS I'VE SAID, MANY OF THE ABOVE PIECES HAD TO BE GIVEN AWAY, OR SIMPLY DITCHED, WHEN MY JOB FORCED ME TO MOVE FROM THE CARIBBEAN TO VARIOUS COUNTRIES IN SOUTH AMERICA AND THEN TO THE STATES.
AT ONE TIME I WAS HEADQUARTERED IN VENEZUELA - BACK WHEN THEY COULD AFFORD TO BE COCKY FROM BEING NEWLY AWASH IN OIL MONEY AND EVERYBODY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, AND HIS BROTHER, WERE IN CARACAS BEGGING FOR A JOB OR A CONTRACT.
HOWEVER, THE FUTURE CHAOS WAS FORETOLD, IN MY MIND AT LEAST, WHEN I FOUND OUT ON MY FIRST WEEK IN THE COUNTRY THAT A RETIRED PRESIDENT HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO BUILD HIMSELF A MANSION ON SACROSANCT GROUND AT THE BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN THAT LOOMS OVER CARACAS AND, IN THAT SAME WEEK, MY CAR WAS BROKEN INTO AT NIGHT AND, ALSO, I WAS TRAPPED BY THEIR POLICE INTO HAVING TO PAY ONE OF THEM A $100 BRIBE TO STAY OUT OF JAIL! - A TRAFFIC LIGHT ON A MAIN ROAD WAS OBSCURED BY TREE BRANCHES THAT WERE ALLOWED TO THRIVE AND SQUADS OF POLICE WERE HOVERING AND READY TO POUNCE ON UNSUSPECTING GRINGOS WHO DROVE ON THROUGH. 
I MOVED ON TO ECUADOR AFTER A YEAR OR SO AND I FOUND THAT IT WAS RUN BY A JUNTA AND THEY HAD 78 ADMIRALS AND ONLY ABOUT 14 SHIPS! THAT IS IF AN OIL TANKER AND SOME GUN BOATS COULD BE COUNTED AS 'SHIPS.'
EVEN SO, THE ECUADOREAN PEOPLE WERE/ARE THE NICEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET AND I DO MEAN EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!    
 
THE LAST PHOTO - WHICH WAS THE MOST AMBITIOUS PROJECT OF MINE, EVER, AND IS STILL THE ONE WHOSE LOSS I  LAMENT OVER MOST - SHOWS THE CHASSI OF A SPORTS CAR THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME FOR RESTORING IN PUERTO RICO.
HOWEVER, IT WAS IN SUCH A BAD STATE - THE ENGINE WAS A MASS OF RUST DUE TO RAIN WATER HAVING BEEN ABLE TO GET INTO IT THROUGH A HELD-OPEN VALVE DURING YEARS OF GROSSLY INADEQUATE STORAGE. ALSO, THE WOODEN FRAME (IT WAS A "MORGAN") HAD ROTTED AWAY COMPLETELY AS HAD ITS STEEL PANELING. THE TIRES WERE ROTTED TOO, AND, WELL, ON AND ON.
I STRIPPED IT DOWN TO ITS CHASSI AND THEN I GOT AN IDEA FOR A LARGE PROJECT AND SO (IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE BY FINDING SOME - ANYTHING AT ALL - USE FOR IT) I WELDED A 3/4 INCH ANGLE-IRON FRAME TO IT AND THEN I PLACED SEVEN DEPICTIONS OF THE 'AGES OF MAN' ONTO THAT.
THEY WERE (AS I BEST REMEMBER) - 'CONCEPTION' AND THEN 'BIRTH' AND THEN 'INFANCY' AND THEN 'SCHOOLING' AND THEN 'WORK' AND THEN 'FAMILY' AND THEN "DEATH."  
THE LAST ONE WAS A SKULL WITH SOME DRIED UP BONES AND ASHES THAT WERE IN A FULL-SIZED COFFIN THAT WAS SITTING UP FRONT.
IT PAINED ME TO LEAVE IT BEHIND WHEN MY JOB FORCED ME TO MOVE ON SO I ARRANGED TO HAVE IT STOWED IN THE BACK YARD OF MY WIFE'S COUSIN'S MOTHER'S HOUSE FULLY INTENDING TO 'RESCUE' IT IN TIME BUT WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED, MAYBE 6 YEARS LATER, I WAS INCOMMUNICADO (SOMEWHERE IN THE INTERIOR OF ONE OF THE COUNTRIES PROBABLY) AND SO HE GOT SOMEBODY TO TOW IT AWAY AND THAT WAS THAT.
​IT MIGHT BE A PART OF A CHICKEN HOUSE, OR SOME SUCH, SOMEWHERE ON THE ISLAND STILL.
THERE IS ONLY ONE PHOTO OF THE FINISHED PIECE AND I PUT IT IN A SAFE PLACE AND HAVE FORGOTTEN WHERE THAT WAS!
​WHEN I FIND IT (OJALA! AS HISPANICS SAY) I'LL POST IT ABOVE.    

     
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